UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Unhealthy relationships

There are healthy and unhealthy relationships and its best to know what the differences are so we don’t make the mistake of remaining in an unhealthy relationship. In a healthy relationship you feel good and secure.

Security

You feel very secure with this person. You’re not afraid that they will wake up one day and just kick you out.

Friendship

They are friends, friends have each other’s back. They look out for each other, share their deepest thoughts and deepest fears, fantasies. They are comfortable with each other. friendships are not easily broken.

Partnership

You know that you are both partners in the relationship, you are both treated as equals. You have shared responsibilities. You also reciprocate kind gestures. Like you call regularly and they call you too regularly. If it’s a one way traffic it will put a strain on the relationship

No tension

You also want to remain there, you don’t feel tensed around them. You are yourself, and they are okay with you being yourself. You are able to have honest conversations and laugh and play. You speak to the understanding of each other.

Respect

There is respect and trust, you respect each other’s views and opinions. You listen and appreciate what bothers them and avoid making them so uncomfortable

In an unhealthy relationship the opposite is the case, you are basically living for someone else. These are some of the signs of an unhealthy relationship

Demand

In unhealthy relationships you feel coerced and forced to do what you don’t want to do or what you feel uncomfortable doing. Your partner basically forces you into doing what you don’t like and they refuse to take no for an answer. They make you take drugs or have sex when you’re not ready or even want you to perform sex in a way that is uncomfortable for you.

Tension

You’re always tensed around them, you don't feel relaxed. your scared of saying whats on your mind because your scared of out burst of anger.

Abuse

There is abuse in the relationship, it could be verbal, emotional or physical violence. They hit, slap, shove, push or even always use curse words or derogatory words on you. That is so unhealthy and unhealthy for you.

Shame

You feel so ashamed when you’re out or alone with them because they use curse words or call you derogatory words. They do this with you or when you’re with their friends. They say you’re not good enough, you’re a fool and the likes. They body shame you at every chance they get.

Uncertainty

You can’t predict how they will act or feel. At the slightest provocation they are mad and upset. You seem to be walking on glass, they find fault or read a different meaning to every word you use.

Dominance

They want to dominate you, and use authority over you. They are extreme control freaks. They tell you when to eat and how much you should eat. They determine what you wear and how you wear it. Even though it’s not your taste. They determine your friends and when you go out. They are constantly calling and threatening you.

Threats

They constantly threaten you, telling you how they will hurt themselves if you don’t comply. they threaten your children and speak words of threats to them.

Extreme jealousy

They are so jealous and won’t allow you hang out with anyone, they are so suspicious and go extreme miles to check your phones, monitor your every move. Attack your friends or anyone you get in touch with. They tell you that they wish you guys could just move to an island where you’re only alone with them, no phones or contact with anyone else.

Savior mindset

They tell you they came to save or help their partner from all their troubles so their partner should be grateful to them. They say stuff like 'you have many issues' and they never agree they have any. They tell you to work on yourself and never agree they have anything to work to do on themselves.

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If your in an unhealthy relationship, getting a solution from a professional counselor could save you and your children. Never continue staying in an unhealthy relationship, it is not worth it.